Alyssa’s father visited her yesterday. From Manila to the province, he stayed for 2 nights at home. Though he wanted to spend more time with Alyssa but she is quite aloof.
She sent a text message by the time he arrived our place, asking me why he came? Though her question hurts me, I stayed positive but warm, explained that daddy really loves her but for the meantime, let’s pray that things will be ok in the future despite of our situation.
She was then calm, sounded more sweeter and babier. She told me that her days are more colorful when I am beside her (she meant last December 2007 when I was home). We texted more often nowadays, chatting almost everyday, all she says is that she miss me, she loves me, she needs me, and she feels more beautiful when we are together! Wahehehe….
Just late last year, one day, I was thinking if my daughter really loves me as her mom. If she really feel and believe that I am her mother after all, after 11 years of being apart. Though I go home every year but 30 days isn’t enough. Of course.
She told me once, “my, when I was younger, I thought you’re not my mom. But now, I am feeling it so bad that I wanted you to stay at home, with me…”
Now she will be graduating on March, her father told me that he’ll do his best to be there on that day. For both of us.
I hate this. I am not happy now. Homesickness again. I hate it.