“Colonial Mentality”

  • Colonial Mentality

Dahil sa nananatiling “Colonial Mentality” ng ating mga kababayan, marami ang nagpapalit ng kanilang mga pangalan matapos silang sumumpa ng kanilang US citizenship. Sa ibaba nito ay mga halimbawa ng mga datihang Pilipino na tuluyan ng itinakwil and kani – kanilang pangalang Pilipino.

Pangalang Pilipino … Ipinalit sa American Name

1. Restituto Fruto – Tutti Fruti
2. Casimiro Bocaycay – Cashmere Bouquet
3. Rogelio Dagdag – Roger Moore
4. Veneracion De Asis – Venereal Disease
5. Alfonso De Asis – Alzheimer’s Disease
6. Topacio Mamaril – Top Gun
7. Francisco Portero – Frank Porter
8. Juanito Lakarin – Johnny Walker
9. Esteban Pagtakhan – Stevie Wonder
10. Leon Mangubat – Tiger Woods
11. Burgos Hari – Burger King
12. Ligaya Almundo – Joy To The World
13. Maria Natividad – Mary Christmas
14. Ligaya Anonuevo – Happy New Year

  • Spelling

Teacher: Miguel spell horse!
–Miguel: H….O….
Teacher: Bilisan mo
–Miguel: H….O….R…
Teacher: Sabing bilisan mo
–Miguel: Ya! Tigidig!!!Tigidig!!! Tigidig…

  • Pilosopo

MR DANILO: “I am your teacher, I am good in three languages.”
PIKAW: “What are the subjects you’re good at?”
MR DANILO: “Oh, I like Math and English.”
PIKAW: “How do you say ‘good morning’ in Algebra?”

!

  • May tatlong bading naliligo sa pool. Biglang may lumitaw na isang condom. Nagtinginan sila, sabay yung isa nagtanong…

“Ok, sino umutot?”

  • What’s the most commonly heard pick up line in a gay bar?

“May I push your stool?”

  • Nakikipag-usapka ba sa asawa mo pagkatapos mong makipagsex?

“Depende kung may telepono”

Buhay ko = ?

Lagi na lang ganito ang routine ng buhay ko. Trabaho-bahay, trabaho-bahay, trabaho-bahay… Walang katapusang trabaho-bahay tsk’tsk’… Today i am feeling so bored and dull. Thinking of what is the real worth of me. Why am i here? Ang layo ko sa family ko, sa anak ko… Bawat araw pareho lang naman ang ginagawa ko, kumikita nga ako kada buwan pero sapat ba yun para matugunan ang lahat ng aking pangangailangan? Pinansyal oo, pero emosyonal? Sabi nila wag maging emosyonal. Para sa isang inang katulad ko, isang pinaka hindi ko matanggap sa buong buhay ko ay lumaki ang anak ko na hindi ko nakikitang lumaki. Ito ang naging pangako ko sa aking anak, na hinding hindi kami magkakahiwalay kahit ng kami ay iwanan ng kanyang ama.

Ilang taon na ang nakakalipas, akala ko magiging matatag ako at matapang. Akala ko sapat na ang financial support ko sa aking anak buwan buwan, akala ko napapasaya ko siya, akala ko magkakalapit kami pagbinibigay ko ang hinihingi niya, akalako makakapag usap kami na parang magkatabi lang. Hindi pala. Sa halip ay di siya kusang lumalapit sa phone kapag ako’y tumatawag sa pinas, di siya kusang nagpapakita sa webcam kapag kami ay nagoonline, wala siyang kusang panoorin ang mukha ko habang ako’y nasa cam, bakit wala siyang amor na kausapin ako? Bakit?

Bakit ngayon pakiramdam ko, wala akong nagawa sa buhay ko? Sampung taon ako nagtiis na malayo sa kanila pero bakit pakiramdam ko, “talo ako?”

Congrats to me :D

happy-face.jpghappy-face.jpgIt’s Sunday, first day of the week here sa country na naroon ako. I came to work at 10 am. Habang nalalakad ako sa corridor (papunta ng ladies’ locker room) meron nakapaskil, mukha ko. Hala nagulat ako akala ko kung ano na… Hihihi, yun pala ang lola eh naging employee of the month – front of the house lol (corny ba?) lol. Pero wag ka ha pinag hirapan ko yan. Bago lang kase ako sa departamentong pinagtatrabahuan ko ngayon tapos sabihin ba naman sa akin ng boss ko na gawin ko yung SOP eh wala nga akong alam pa sa department nila. Anyhow wala naman akong magawa kase boss, eh di gawin lol pinoy pa:D. Di ba?

Ang pinakamasaya nito eh may cash incentive ako, weeee..

happy-face.jpg

Mga lalaki talaga.. hmp!

 

att3489227.gif

att34892231.gif

att3489224.gif

att3489226.gif

Wine Tasting

wineloverspage.gif

Want to learn how to taste wine as the experts do?

Eyeballing wine, swirling and sniffing and swishing … it may look complicated or even snobbish, but the traditional wine-tasting technique is actually based on common sense. It’s simply a way to pause for a moment, to stop and think, and to pay attention to the ways that wine impacts on all your senses, from sight and scent to taste, aftertaste, and the overall impression that the wine leaves behind after you’ve finished!

Resume

Funny Jokes and One-liners from Real Résumés

These jokes are taken from REAL résumés and cover letters:


1. ‘I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.’2. ‘I have lurnt Word for Widows, computor operations and spreasheet progroms.’

3. ‘I received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.’

4. ‘Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.’

5. ‘Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.’

6. ‘Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.’

7. ‘It’s best for employers that I not work with people.’

8. ‘Let’s meet , so you can ‘ ooh’ and ‘ aah’ over my experience.’

9. ‘You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.’

10. ‘Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.’

11. ‘I was working for my mom until she decided to move.’

12. ‘Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments.’

13. ‘I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.’

14 ‘I am loyal to my employer at all costs….Please feel free to respond to my résumé on my office voice mail.’

15. ‘I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing. ‘

16. ‘My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training n meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.’

* * *

Resimay

Deer Sir,

I waunt to apply for the secritary job what I saw in the paper. I can Type
real quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.

I think I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person, Pepole really
seam to respond to me well.

Im lookin for a Jobb as a secritary but it musent be to complicaited.

I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job thru my
persinalety. My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me
and wat you think that I am werth,

I can start imeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser.

hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.

Sinseerly,

Peggy May Starlings

 

Previous Older Entries